The Art Behind A Happy Heart.

Sometimes I regret opening my mouth.

Because the more involved I become in anything, the more people remind me of why I spend so much time alone.

Apparently we should be giving out medals now to men who don’t take advantage of intoxicated girls.

Thanks for not being a rapist?

Yeah, I don’t think so.

I have so much going for me right now.

Therefore, I am happy and not letting any small negativity get me down.

If you’re freaking out so much over what should be a minor negativity, considering the way you treat the other people involved, you must not have anything else going for you. Maybe you should focus your energy on that instead of continuing to prove how much of a gentleman you aren’t.

Bad phone connection.

• Me: I'd like to see you soon, I like you the best.
• Boyfriend: Did you say in the "physical sense?"
• Me: What did you say about fiscal?

My rockstar wakes up at 5am and works until dinner.

But he always finds the time to skype or call if I want to talk.

That’s a real man.

I hate an empty house.

My dad is off on business and I have the place to myself. Its eerily quiet and it scares me that if something were to happen to me, it might be days before somebody finally noticed…

If somebody stabs you in the back, I can promise that they’ll do it again and again if given the opportunity.

• Miranda: I'm a face person.
• Me: Like that guy in Miami.